Starling Travel

I’m sure Delta Airlines created these videos to show us how we are supposed to act politely on an airplane, but it just fell short for me. Each video tells me why I HATE to fly.

Planeguage: LavDance – A woman comes out of the lavatory to find a line of people waiting. The aisle is so small that she can’t get past them without some jostling. Who’s the rude one? The lady in the lavatory? The line of people blocking her way? How about the airline who designed a plane that can’t accommodate two people in the aisle.

Planeguage: Kidtastrophe – A man is assaulted by a boy kicking his chair while the parent does nothing to stop him. Anyone who has taken a flight to Salt Lake City has encountered this exact scenario.

Planeguage: Shady Lady – Everyone is watching the in-flight movie and they are surprised by a lady opening her shade so she can read her magazine. Later, a child is pointing at the Empire State Building, but the shade suddenly closes under the hand of the Shady Lady.

Planeguage: Middleman – A man hogs the armrests in the middle seat. The problem here is that there are no rules. A simple line down the middle of the armrest would solve ninety percent of this problem.

Planeguage: Miracle – A couple in love are destined to sit apart from each other, but a Miracle on 34th Row happens that allows them to sit together. This actually happened to Mike and me when we were flying to Hawaii, except without the miracle. Snow delayed our plan from SLC, so we missed our planned flight to Hawaii. The only other plane for 12 hours had us sitting so far apart and no one was willing to trade. SEVEN hours apart on our ROMANTIC Hawaii getaway. Thanks, Delta.

Instead of solving the logistical problems that cause LavDances and Middlemen and the need for Miracles, Delta spent a ton of money on an advertising agency to “train” us to be better travelers.

Bad form, Delta Airlines, bad form.